Last night Biggles peed over a substantial part of my DVD collection.

We were sat watching telly, and our boy started hunting around by the living room door. I knew what that probably meant, but the commercial break was coming up and I figured he could hold on for a couple of minutes. I was wrong. He calmly trotted over to one of the DVD racks either side of the TV, cocked his leg and let rip. I was so stunned I didn’t react for a couple of seconds. Susan wasn’t able to do anything about it either; she was pinned down by Beanie who was giving her leg some serious luurve.

Eventually I came to my senses, got Biggles out into to the garden and then went to inspect the damage. The Thirteenth Warrior was soaked. Stanley Kubrik’s Full Metal Jacket was now in danger of rusting. But by a miracle, Armageddon survived. It seems Bruce Willis not only saved the earth from asteriods, he also saved his DVD from The Great Biggles Flood.

When people see us walking our dogs on lead they usually comment on how well behaved they are, because they sit so quietly and neatly while we’re conversing. If only they knew..