Out with the old, in with the weird

It’s been a funny couple of weeks since my last post. I’ve been flogging various items on eBay to clear some space and raise funds for a free standing pull-up bar for our home gym. I’ve got rid of an old workout bench, assorted other unused equipment, and even Beanie & Biggles’ battery powered lure coursing machine. I felt a little bad about that last one; our dynamic duo have had some fun times chasing it around but we just haven’t used it in ages. Our garden’s not really big enough to use it properly, Biggles stopped following it ages ago (preferring instead to lay in wait for it at the finish point), and Beanie gets ridiculously over-excited whenever we set it up. Add to that the problem of finding a large enough, safe-ish area at a time when no other people or dogs are around and, well it was all just too much hassle. Still, Beanie gave me some funny looks when I was photographing it in the lounge; her little puzzled face even made it into one of the eBay photos as she watched me through the lounge door.

Anyway the bottom line was that the camera came out but was never pointed directly at the Beagles, which was decidedly weird. It got even weirder when one week later a strange bloke came to the house to collect the bench that he’d bought. His arrival really caught the pups by surprise, but I think he was even more surprised than they were. As he entered the house, Biggles was right by the baby gate that secures the lounge, woofing and repeatedly boinging like a pogostick. Next to Biggles was a small blanket-wrapped blob that had a wagging tail sticking out of its rear. Of course the blob was actually The Beanster, who’d been having her afternoon nap and had been in such a hurry to greet the stranger that she hadn’t had time to shed her blankie. Needless to say the guy didn’t hang around long. He handed over the cash, took the bench, and backed away slowly avoiding eye contact.


The next weird event occurred in our home gym when the new stuff arrived.  Susan & I assembled the pull-up bar & rings while Beanie & Biggles tore up the packaging and deposited it all round the house, and then we had a brief photoshoot.




That wasn’t the weird part, by the way. It wasn’t even weird when Biggles concentrated so much on posing with the rings that he fell off the bench we was on and landed on his head. That kind of thing happens to Biggles all the time. No, the weird bit came when I laid down on the exercise mat to do my abs, and for the first time in my life, actually allowed Beanie to hump my leg.


Beanie gets to hump Susan all the time, and she usually leaves a little wet patch of pee on Susan’s leg when she’s finished. But when the little tricolored limpet attempts to lock onto one of my legs, she gets shaken off immediately. Always. Except this time. I figured that just this once I’d let her start humping, grab a quick photo of her then prise her off my leg before the pee. As you might expect I mistimed it, and had to change one of my socks right after I took the shot. But the weirdness didn’t stop there, because ever since that humping, Beanie has been extraordinarily biddable. No impatient howling if I’m late with her tea. No attempts to linger in the kitchen when there’s food on the worktops. And no temporary deafness when I tell her to get out of bed on a morning. You know what this means? Cesar Milan has got it all wrong. If you want a compliant, hassle-free Beagle just forget all that “be a pack leader” stuff and let her hump the hell out of your leg and pee on your sock.

And finally, after that dog training revelation, here are a few shots from another hike up Knock Hill on a day when it wasn’t raining (much). It was cold, it was windy, and it was woofy. So at least something’s been normal this last couple of weeks!






5 Replies to “Out with the old, in with the weird”

  1. Jenna

    Thanks for your response about taking the Insidious photos! I really like your blog, it’s witty and filled with excellent quality pictures! I’ll have to go back and read more entries.

  2. Susan in Delaware

    Hilarious as always, Paul! Our two don’t seem to try that lewd behavior, so we can’t help prove out your theory. Love the photo of the praying beagle.

  3. Paul Post author

    Thanks Jenna & Susan!

    Yep the praying Beagle pose is one of Beanie’s specialties!

    BTW we’re back to howling if I’m late serving up their food. Maybe I need to let Beanie hump my leg again.

  4. Gretchen Lindsey

    I found your blog on a recommendation on another site here in the U.S.A. What nice and pretty beagles you have. We have two, their names are Booger(12 yrs) and Midgie(3 yrs). Booger had a Hanky, but she past over the Rainbow Bridge, she was only 7 yrs. I love the pictures you are posting and all that goes with it. It is nice to know that I am not the only one that has “odd” beagles. Thank you and keep up the good work.

  5. Paul Post author

    Hi Gretchen, glad you like the blog. I think all Beagles are probably a little “odd” – that’s why we love ’em!

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