The Price Of Fame

A few months ago I committed the ultimate sin of photographing the Beanster in one of her most private moments.

Beagle Comfort Break

That photo made it into the latest edition of In Full Cry, the magazine produced by the UK’s Beagle Welfare charity, which happens to be Beanie’s favorite publication. I was rather pleased about that, but I don’t think Beanie appreciated having her toilet habits exposed in print.

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Oh boy am I in trouble now…

There have since been repercussions: a slice of cake that was destined for my mouth ended up in Beanie’s, assorted mail has been torn up, and I’ve been subjected to a number of disruptive and often noisy visits when I’ve been working at my computer.

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Biggles on the other hand would like nothing more than to have his chance at fame, even if it means compromising his modesty. All this attention for Beanie has hit him so hard he’s even considered relocating to another home.

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Just seal me up and post me off to someone who’ll appreciate me properly..

Happily my little boy was dissuaded from this rather drastic course of action by a tummy tickle and a couple of chews. After all, every Beagle has his price.

Mountain Ears

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Mountain ears: they’re so tasty!

That’s Biggles tucking into a tasty ear breakfast after spending the night on the summit of Ben Donich. And before you ask, yes the overnighter was intentional and not something that was forced on us by an escaping Beagle. As you can see our four legged mountaineers were frisky and full of energy after their night of wild camping, which is more than could be said for Susan and myself.

Our previous night on a mountain was last year on Arran’s Goat Fell. That had been during June, giving us the double benefit of warmer nights and less time to kill between sunset and sunrise. We’d been able to get by with a lightweight fishing shelter instead of a full-blown tent back then. This time, with colder temperatures and nearly twelve hours from sun down to sun up, we knew there could be no corner cutting; we needed a proper tent, with proper sleeping bags. Unfortunately all that bulk doesn’t help when you have to do a bit of scrambling on the way to your chosen mountain top.

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Another thing that doesn’t help with scrambling is an over-enthusiastic Beagle boy. The plan had been for Susan to get just far enough down to hand me first her rucksack, then our two Beagles, but Biggles just didn’t want to wait for his turn. He kept trying to squeeze past Susan, and it was only when he finally managed to dive over her shoulder and onto her lap that he remembered he’s no good at climbing. In a second he went from fearless mountaineer to scared and repentant little boy, but somehow Susan managed to keep hold both of him and her unwieldy backpack just long enough for me to get them safely back to terra firma. I will say one thing for Biggles: he doesn’t let these little reversals dent his ego. As soon as his feet touched the ground he had a thorough shake and was instantly transformed back into Sir Edmund Bigglery. Onward!!

We made it to the summit without further incident and quickly found a site for our tent. Susan handled the pitching process almost completely solo. I’m not good with tents and neither are Beanie & Biggles, so I figured the best way for us to help would be.. not to help.

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Are you done yet Mum?

Once the tent was up I attended to the really important stuff like serving up the kibble and filling the water bowl, then went to scout out good shooting locations for the coming sunset. As it turned out cloud made the sunset a bit of a non-event, but I got some shots of an unusual shaped rock and Susan doing a handstand against the summit trig point.

Ben Donich Sun Worshipper [0678]

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Up to this point the temperature had been pretty mild, but as soon as the sun disappeared it really started to bite. It wasn’t long before we all retired to the shelter of the tent to spend the night wrapped up in our thick sleeping bags, and that’s when the fun really started.

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We had two sleeping bags and four bodies to keep warm. After a game of musical beds I ended up with Biggles while Susan took in Beanie. I have to say it wasn’t brilliantly comfortable; I’ve a sneaking suspicion that the bag’s designers never anticipated that the owner would be sharing with a Biggly Boy. Nevertheless, I figured I’d still manage to get a somewhat decent sleep. I was of course wrong.

Susan has a touch of claustrophobia, and the combination of a tight sleeping bag and Beagle that really likes to stretch out soon became untenable, so I ended up with two Beagles in my bag. At first it wasn’t too bad; Beanie settled in behind my knees while Biggles kept the front of my feet warm, but then I tried to change position and got a taste of claustrophobia myself. Every time I made an inch of space for myself, a Beanie body part filled it. I decided I would just shove her out of the way; after all I’m the human, she’s the dog, right? She responded first by grumbling, then by walking none too lightly over my groin area which really killed the whole “just about to nod off” vibe. After a little more wrestling I somehow ended up with her nose packed tightly into my left armpit. She took in a deep breath, then let out a relaxed sigh of contentment. I can honestly say this is the first time any living creature has reacted positively to the smell of my armpit, especially after I’ve climbed a hill without showering. Regardless, this stable state didn’t last for more than ten minutes, then we were back to wrestling and grumbling at each other. Suffice it to say I got maybe 40 minutes sleep over the whole night.

In the morning we were in and out of cloud for the first hour or so, but when the mist cleared the view was spectacular.

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It was truly gorgeous up there, but desperately cold. Eventually we’d had our fill of the scenery and we began the process of packing everything up. We started inside the tent by letting the air out of our inflatable mattresses (which was a source of endless amusement and fascination to Beanie & Biggles), then moved outside to dismantle the tent itself. It had been my intention to help Susan throughout, but a sudden outbreak of play-fighting demanded my attention.

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Despite all the criss-crossing, leaping and rolling that went on, they never once got tangled up in their leads, yet on a regular walk you can guarantee that Biggles will tie himself up at least once every 100 yards.

It was great to see them playing; they haven’t had an extended wrestling match like that at home for ages. I figured either Beanie’s attacks on Biggles a couple of years ago had permanently dented his confidence, or maybe they’d just grown out of that kind of play. Either way, it looks like that night on Ben Donich has rolled back the clock a bit.

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Food provider down! We have a food provider down!

I was temporarily knocked out of commission last weekend by a nasty bug – one of those 24 hour “feels like like flu” things that also comes with a free dose of diarrhoea. I spent virtually a whole day alternating between sleeping and making hurried but stumbling trips to the loo. In fact I was in such bad shape that even the Beagles seemed to be worried; Beanie kept visiting me whenever I was on the porcelain throne, and both her and Biggles insisted on sitting next to me on the sofa. This was a mixed blessing. Instead of being able to stretch out I was the cramped filling for a Beagle sandwich, and yet whenever a shivering phase started I was very thankful for my two furry hot water bottles.

As the bug started to lose its hold on me I reflected on my Beaglets’ behavior. Of course I wanted to believe they’d clung to me out of genuine concern for my well-being, but the cynic in me couldn’t shake the idea that they were just looking out for themselves. I’m pretty sure Biggles was just using me as a heated chin-rest, and as for Beanie, well let’s face it: an ill humie is less able to protect his food from a lightning Beagle raid; stick close to him, and you’re bound to get something! Come to think of it, she did come very close to nicking some bacon off my plate when my appetite returned.

Anyway, whatever their true motivation, they did sort of help to make that nasty bug more bearable so I figured they were due some kind of reward. As soon as I was able I gave them extra tug sessions in the house and a plod up and down the beach, but my batteries were still so drained that it was all a bit half-hearted. Today was better though, much much better. They got two local walks, an extended training/play session in the garden with me & Susan (shots below), and finally an energetic beach run.

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Biggles starts first, with a demonstration of his weaving skills. Note how he correctly uses his ears to signal which way he’s going.

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Not perhaps the most streamlined weaving you’ve ever seen, but he got the job done!

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Next: ball retrieval. He’s very good at keeping his eyes the ball..

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And there’s certainly no lack of enthusiasm on the way out…

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..but the return to base part can be a bit ponderous and unreliable at times

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But not this time. Result!

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Next up: Beanie takes on the Ayrshire Mute Squirrel (he no longer squeaks due to a bad case of PTSD from Beanie’s previous play session)

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Oh yeah, that squirrel is about to have another bad day

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A very, very bad day!

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Just play dead Mr Squirrel, it’ll be over quicker that way…

I figured they’d still be a bit pooped by the time we went for the beach run, but if anything the reverse was true; they were both revved up and raring to go. We set a good pace over the first couple of kilometers, then I stopped, dished out a bit of chicken and unleashed them for a romp on their own. They sprinted out along by the sea for maybe 150m, then Beanie – who’s always in command during off-lead sorties – turned them back for a second serving of chicken. Perfect! I fed them and sent them off for another romp, but this one didn’t quite go as well as the first; Beanie caught sight of a group of birds by the water and instantly the run turned into a hunt. She got remarkably close to them before they flew off, in fact I thought that for the first time in her life she might actually catch one, but it was not to be. The birds took off in the nick of time and headed out to sea, leaving Beanie fighting valiantly but ineffectively against the incoming waves. When she eventually gave up I grabbed another handful of chicken, expecting her to come sprinting back for a reload, but Biggles was now beside her, goading her into a chase, and she accepted. They had the most tremendous fun, and though I wasn’t keen on having the normally brief off-lead section of our run go into extra time, I must admit I enjoyed the show.  It took a while but eventually they returned, looking like over-sized half-drowned rats with comedy ears. Yes it had been a bit naughty, but at least it was the kind of naughty that puts joy in your heart.

Beanie in flight [2A6A0338]