It started just like a normal Monday. Beanie & Biggles had a little snuggle in bed then went out into the garden to perform their morning duties. The cows were out but our two generously decided to spare them the pain of a severe woofing, and instead just sat on their bums and watched quietly.

Back inside – just as Dad was preparing to take them on their morning walk – Biggles sounded the alarm. Something big had pulled into the drive, and now intruders were entering the garden through the top gate. He woofed loudly to alert the household, but nobody seemed to take any notice.  Nobody except Beanie that is; she joined in the woof-fest, but still Mum and Dad just carried on as normal. The Bigglet had almost worn out his woofer by the time he and his sister were loaded into the car for a long walk on the beach.

On their return, the intruders were still on site and there was lots of noise coming from just outside the house. Try as they might Beanie & Biggles couldn’t get a proper vantage point to see was going on, and no-one would let them into the garden. It was all very frustrating!

Our little boy so wanted to defend his home, but his paws were tied; the humies kept him confined to the house. Eventually he just gave up and left it all to fate. What’s the point in trying to save the world if the world doesn’t want to be saved?

Beanie eased her stress with a vigorous humping of her Mum’s leg. If the apocalypse was coming, why not “check out” with an extended rumpy-pumpy session?

The hours dragged by and eventually the intruders packed up and went home. Finally Beanie and Biggles were allowed out to inspect the devastation! All the trees had gone, there was a deep trench running down one side of the garden, and a huge yellow thing was sitting close to the house.

Still, it wasn’t all bad. The kibble fairy had paid a visit to their kennel (which strangely had moved on to the deck) and the remnants of the trees made for some quality chewing:

There was nothing the dynamic duo could do to restore their garden to its former state, but Biggles was determined to exact his revenge. He went right up to the big yellow thing, cocked his leg high and gave it the pee of the century. The following morning when the intruders returned, their yellow monster wouldn’t start. They kept mumbling something about the cold having broken it, unaware of the true cause: death by Biggle piddle.