It’s been a a couple of weeks or so since Biggles turned seven, and our two spoiled furballs have finally accepted that although they had servings of birthday cake for three days straight – more than long enough to set a precedent in Beagle law – they’re not going to get cake every day. It sucks, and if Ewan McGregor and other charity-supporting celebs knew about it, they’d be appearing on the TV between the PPI and accident claim adverts asking families through the UK to donate sardine-flavored cakes, buns and muffins to our two.
Remember – donating just two cupcakes or fishy french fancies a month could give a hungry Beagle something to speed-swallow between normal mealtimes
Fortunately for Biggles, he’s found something to fill the cake-sized gap in his life, and it’s something that might surprise you. It certainly surprised me.
Yes, that’s right, it’s my used snotty paper hankies. I’ve had a really unpleasant cold over the last week, and Biggles has become obsessed with my mucus filled cast-offs.
If I’ve had a nice smelly TV dinner and put down my plate next to the sofa, I can successfully keep Biggles from licking it. It takes constant vigilance and the occasional “Oi! No!” combined with a cautionary index finger, but The Bigglet (and Beanie, for that matter) will comply. Same goes for an empty cup of hot chocolate. But.. if I’m careless enough to leave a used tissue within reach, Biggles just has to have it, no matter how stern a voice I use or how much my index finger is pointing at him. On one occasion a curious Beanie followed him to his “safe” place in the corridor while he had a tissue in his possession, and she was told in no uncertain terms to butt out, and that hardly ever happens, not even when she’s vacuuming up stray kibble that he’s knocked out of his bowl at mealtimes.
It’s possible that NASA or SETI may find incontrovertible proof of life on other worlds within my lifetime, but I can guarantee you that I’ll expire without ever knowing why Biggles finds my used, snotty hankies so irresistible (whether they have an aloe vera balm to reduce nasal friction or not!)