Britain’s been doing quite well in the Olympics but we’d be doing even better if the powers that be would only embrace some of the lesser known sports such as Boinging.
For the uninitiated, Boinging involves repeated pogo-stick style jumping in order to retrieve a target object from a high up place. It’s Biggles’ favorite sport, and he was training hard this morning when Susan left a plateful of cheese-covered toast crusts on the kitchen worktop.
It’s a surprisingly technical sport with marks being given for each of the four main stages of the boing.
Stage 1: Counter-surfing. Given only one brief peek, the contestant must correctly identify the high value item(s)
Stage 2: The launch. The contestant makes repeated standing jumps at the target directly from the floor and without the aid of any external apparatus
Stage 3: The snatch. On gaining sufficient height the contestant gathers all they can in a single mouth action
Stage 4: Speed eating. You only get points for what actually makes it into your stomach, so expert boingers like Biggles begin the consumption process even before their feet are back on the ground.
And there it is, the medal we could have if only the International Olympic Committee would add Boinging to their list of official sports