That’s the deep, contented nap of a boy who has pulled off the most technically demanding, physics-challenging and artistic poop known to Beagle kind. I hate to admit it, but it far surpasses even Biggles’ best efforts – though it was The Biggly Boy’s tutelage that undoubtedly laid the foundation for Monkey’s faecal triumph.
We were in a woodland area of one of our local parks. As is his way, Monkey had already let loose with a couple of decently-sized but otherwise unremarkable number twos; bulging around his back passage signalled that number three was on the way. As we walked past a tree he looked like he was beginning a squat, but he didn’t drop straight to target depth – instead he kept shuffling his feet, executing what I soon realised was a precision docking maneouver that would have made NASA proud. He reversed his bum really, really close to the tree – so close that I feared the bark might seal his opening – and then instead of lowering into a deep squat he raised his rear end as far as he could, kind of walking it up the tree. When he reached his maximum height he began to push, all the while maintaining pressure against the tree surface.
You know those gel stamps that leave a circular patty of slow-release, fresh-smelling cleaning agents on the side of the toilet bowl? Well this was essentially the same thing, only bigger, brown colored and definitely not fresh-smelling. When he’d finished Monkey didn’t even turn to examine the result – he didn’t need to see it to know it was good – but Daisy and I stood and marvelled. After a second or two Daisy went in close for a sniff. I didn’t, but I was severely tempted to whip out my phone and take a snap. I wish I had; moments like this are what make me proud to be a Beagle daddy.
Oh Monkey, I’m so proud to have you as my brother!
Thanks Daisy. It’s just what I do.
Also I have really big balls.
A video and a few more shots to finish. As you can see, Daisy’s respect for Monkey was shortlived, and was followed by humping attempts, chases and wrestling.
