I think I’m finally starting to understand what it is to have the appetite of a Beagle.

I’ve been training hard and sticking to the diet we started at the New Year, and mostly feeling pretty good on it. Yesterday however I did a pretty hard “legs” session at the gym and today hunger has dominated my thoughts. On tonight’s dog walk – just before tea – Beanie & Biggles found a trail of crisps and assorted snack wrappers and it sent them straight into “spider-beagle” mode. For those who aren’t familiar with that term, it’s my attempt to describe the spread-eagle stance our Beagles adopt when they’ve found something they think is edible and they want to resist the tug of the lead for as long as possible. When they get like this, the walk descends into a dragathon; first I’m trying to pull them away from one site of interest, and just as I succeed, they sniff another site up ahead and suddenly they’re dragging me towards it. Anyway, the thing is, tonight I was almost as interested in their finds as they were. Every “Flake” or “Cadbury’s Caramel” wrapper they located sent me off into a brief food-related fantasy. I didn’t salivate at the sight of dog poo like they did, but when we got back home I demanded my tea double-quick, just like Beanie.

The two Bs have been mostly sticking to their New Year resolutions too, though for Biggles the strain of not opening the toy cupboard (much) has pushed him back into his old sock addicted ways..

I can confirm that socks were harmed during the making of these photos, but it was a worthwhile sacrifice!

We didn’t quite manage to resist opening our presents before Christmas; temptation won us over at around 11pm on Christmas Eve, but Beanie & Biggles lasted out until the following morning. We might have lasted out too if we’d been locked into crates with a mountain of partially chewed duvets and pillows piled up on top of us, but that’s just the luck of the draw. When Christmas morning finally came I opened their crates and in a further demonstration of five-star self control, our pups delayed their present opening by burrowing into our beds for a further nap. In fact they’d taken on board the warnings in “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” to such an extent that Susan literally had to haul them out of bed (then haul them out of the kitchen and away from the smell of cooking turkey) before they finally got their paws on their pressies. Once they got started though, the present opening was conducted at a frenzied pace.

Just like non-furry children, Beanie & Biggles enjoyed the boxes their pressies came in almost as much as the pressies themselves, especially as those boxes were filled with extra surprises like doggy chocolate buttons and biccies.

Biggles is so intent on checking out the box that he misses the chocolate button – but only for a second!

Beanie’s taking no chances on missing anything, and decides to eat the box as well as everything inside it

Their main pressies this year were new-style Kongs. Our two have never really taken to the traditional bell-shaped Kongs – once the food has gone from them, they show no interest in using the Kongs as chew toys in their own right. On a recent trip to Pets & Home Susan spotted two new models: an urn and a bulbous cylinder, each soft and squishy with multiple food exit points. Pure chance gave Biggles the purple urn, while Beanie got the cylinder. Needless to say Santa had seen fit to fill both of these toys with tasties before they were wrapped.

Biggles immediately got to grips with his toy and was duly rewarded for his efforts, but Beanie had a more difficult time. She tried rolling the cylinder, throwing it, forcing her tongue through the openings – just about everything except the one thing that would have worked: a few seconds of power chewing in her jaws. In the end we came to the rescue by standing on the cylinder a few times. Once the biccies and kibble had been pulverised by our weight, the tasty debris came out much more easily.

When the Kongs had been emptied, Susan handed out the other pressies – a couple of large “Cerea” dog chews. Beanie expertly unwrapped hers before taking her first bite, but Biggles missed this crucial first step and went direct to the chomping stage.

Did his little Christmas wrapping faux-pas weigh heavily on Biggles’ mind?

You mean I should have unwrapped it first?

Doh!

Still, it’ll all come out the same end in due course. I’m OK with it!

And clearly Beanie was OK with it too!

By the time the snacks were finished, an impressive amount of debris had built up on the floor of our “posh” lounge.

I generously offered to take the pups out for their first Christmas walk, leaving Susan to clear up the mess, though as it turned out Susan may have got the better deal. I drove to Troon, and the weather there was strongly reminiscent of the storm we’d had a couple of weeks ago.

Still, a windy, wet day is a fun day for Beagles, and Beanie & Biggles certainly had fun! Every 50 yards we covered was celebrated by a wrestling match, and when we got to a nice safe spot by the beach I let them have a short but extremely energetic off-lead romp. By the time we got back they were both knackered, but still found the energy to enjoy their special Christmas dinner.

Yep, even Biggles got sprouts. We’re still living with the consequences, but at least we bought some powerful new air fresheners prior to Christmas.

After the big nosh we all crashed out on the sofas for a coma. I vaguely remember seeing the initial episode of the four-part remake of The Great Escape, and when I was next conscious, we were half way through part four. Although I’d missed most of this less than riveting Christmas Day TV offering there was plenty more to come, and that of course is where the booze comes in handy. Biggles apparently felt the same way.

Do Beagles get hangovers?

Later on that evening, a couple of furry imps quietly padded down the corridor and wrenched open their toy cupboard, despite it being secured with a thick strip of industrial strength velcro. They had access to all their toys, but they still chose to grab their new Kongs, so I think we can call them a big success, and the same goes for Christmas Day as a whole!

Our Christmas decorations are now in place, thanks to – or perhaps in spite of – assistance from Beanie & Biggles.

Beanie  seemed particularly keen to help unpack the tree, while Biggles wanted to be in charge of the baubles. Strangely their offers of help were rebuffed, so instead they switched to singing ear-splitting Beagle Christmas carols.

I don’t know which song this is, but it certainly isn’t “Silent Night”

At one point someone – I’m not sure who – got hold of a miniature teddy bear decoration and almost dismembered it. The teddy is still suffering from post traumatic stress, but the decorating is done and neither Beanie nor Biggles managed to electrocute themselves which is always a plus.

We’ve done all our Christmas shopping now but we’re still waiting for some items we’ve ordered to arrive. Fortunately Biggles is very good at alerting us when a delivery is about to occur, and afterwards Beanie quickly dispatches the packaging, sometimes while the precious item is still inside..

Oh yeah, that’s much neater now. Thanks Beanie!

As the space under the tree gradually fills up our two favorite Beagle noses are convinced that at least some of the packages are for them, but they’ll have to wait a little longer before they find out for sure..