Ever since we got Beanie I’ve always wanted to see an actual pack of working Beagles in action. As it turns out there is such a pack in the North of England that welcomes visitors/spectators, so with any luck my wish could come true sometime this winter.

Obviously Beanie & Biggles wouldn’t be allowed to come watch the hunt with me; together they can easily make as much noise as The Who in their heyday (back when Pete Townsend wasn’t half deaf) and this would no doubt demoralize the quieter and better behaved working Beagles. Still, when they returned from this morning’s walk our pups took a moment to ponder the logistics of running a full pack, and it caused a fair amount of head-scratching.

For starters, consider that a working pack can contain upwards of thirty Beagles. Thirty! Now consider that after a rainy morning walk, all of those Beagles have to be toweled off , wrapped up in their favorite blanky and set down on their own sofa in the living room. That could take quite some time if done properly. I bet some of those poor Beagles would have to wait to be taken care of, and Beanie & Biggles don’t “do” waiting!

Then there’s the issue of space; just how large would the living room have to be to accommodate thirty or more sofas? And let’s say that later in the day when things brighten up, a little sunny spot shows up in the corner of the room. There’s no way all those pack Beagles can share the sunny spot, so what do they do? Ration the indoor sunbathing time? Use some kind of a rota?

And in the kitchen, is the table big enough to allow all the Beagles to camp out on it as they watch for accidental spills and drops when humie food is being prepared?

Do they have one really, really huge bed for all the Beagles, or is there a two-to-a-bed policy, requiring the house to have fifteen or more bedrooms, each furnished with a double bed and a full sock draw (the latter for entertainment purposes of course)?

And what about tummy tickles? Does each pack Beagle have his/her own dedicated tummy tickler, or do they have to share, and if so, presumably there are standards to ensure that no Beagle has to wait more than a minute for the tickle to start?

Susan spent some time Googling on the computer in an attempt to answer these questions, and Beanie & Biggles didn’t like what she found one little bit!

Whaddya mean they all live in a crummy barn with no sofas, no access to a proper bed and no tummy tickles at all??!!! Sod that I’m off back to bed!!