I’ve heard a few discussions on talk shows about the effect of covid lockdowns on dogs. Apparently separation anxiety is a common development, but that doesn’t seem to be an issue for us, whereas jealousy definitely is. Beanie shows the most conspicuous and comical symptoms, and as a result we’re now calling her Little Miss FOMO.

When I go into the garden for a workout I often do my best to entice the pups out with me, but more often than not Biggles is the only one that actually turns up. By the time I’m done, Beanie’s FOMO compells her to check the site of my training session to verify that no biccies were secretly handed out, and typically she’ll also give Biggles a once-over sniffing too. It’s almost like a customs inspection; if she could pull latex gloves onto her front paws and give Biggles a body cavity search I’m sure she would (and to be honest I think Biggles might actually enjoy that – he’s always been a bit too keen on anal thermometers).

What’s going on, and is food involved?

If he’s busy cleaning his fur after a walk and things get overly noisy and slurpy – as can happen – I can guarantee that her head will pop out of her bed to check that he’s not getting something she isn’t. Her most illogical FOMO symptom involves cuddle sessions. Beanie has always hated soppy cuddles, but if she sees Biggles getting hugs and fondles, she hops onto the other side of the sofa and presents herself for the same treatment. It’s only when the cuddles start that she remembers how much she loathes them and demands a blankie covering.

I can’t believe I thought this was a good idea – blankie me NOW and don’t leave my head sticking out!

Convinced that she has a full comprehension of English but just pretends not to understand when it suits her (which is admittedly most of the time), I’ve been having long conversations with her to talk her out of all this FOMO behavior. I remind her that wherever possible we follow the “if one puppy gets, then so does the other” rule, and make her more aware of what a great ally she has in The Bigglet. For example, every time Biggles obtains a sock and sells it to me for a biccie, Beanie gets a biccie too. I guess it’s the equivalent of VAT at 100%, and even though it does reduce the number of socks I’m prepared to purchase from Biggles, he’s totally OK with it. Then there’s the rigmarole that happens when Miss FOMO catches me tickling Biggles’ tummy. I offer to tickle hers, but she refuses, sits right in front of me and begins airing her grievances like some 1970s trade union leader. Biggles, ever the supportive brother, jumps right down beside her and joins in, even though he’s effectively complaining about his own tummy tickle session.

Perhaps one day she’ll realize that all the FOMO stuff is unnecessary, and that we’re always looking out for her interests. Until then, that suspicious little bonce of hers is going to keep popping out of the bed to check she’s not missing out on anything.