Another firework season is mostly behind us. It’s left Beanie a bit jumpy in that she’ll look at me for reassurance if someone slams a car door or drives over a loose manhole cover when we’re walking by a road, but for the most part I think she’s coped better than last year.

This time around Bonfire Night landed just after a weekend, with the result that local organized displays were scheduled a day early on Sunday, with many unofficial sessions still going off on the following Monday night. For us the Sunday was pretty painless thanks to two things: an extra long, extra sniffy daytime walk to tire the pups out, followed by the most absorbing treat we’ve yet found for our Beagles: meaty filled bones.

I chose Culzean as the location for our walk, parking by the sea front in Maidens and taking the pups straight across the sands and into the woods near the castle. The area is teaming with wildlife – birds, deer, rabbits and so on – so noses went into overdrive almost as soon as we started. We stuck mainly to the quieter coastal paths, getting to sample high level sniffs from the cliffs and ground-based whiffs from the beach below the castle itself. It’s easy to while away a good few hours at Culzean, and the sun had set by the time were heading back to the Beaglemobile.

As we arrived back home the fireworks were already in full flight, but I quickly carried the pups into the house where the routine of their tea-time meal – followed immediately by meaty filled bones – distracted them until most of the whizz-bangs had stopped. The next day I didn’t have time to get more filled bones and consequently things didn’t go quite so well. The Beanster spent an hour or two cowering in the bathroom wrapped in her Thundershirt, followed by an extended period on my lap, during which a little bum-hole print mysteriously appeared on my t-shirt. As usual Biggles was much less affected, but even he dived under a blankie and snuggled with Susan when things got really intense.

At some point in the future fireworks may be a thing of the past; a recent episode of The Gadget Show featured a very effective alternative display using brightly-lit drones. Until then it’ll have to be extra long walks in the daytime and a copious supply of filled bones, because it seems that even in the most desperate times a tasty bone can beat a loud bang.

I can’t remember quite what chain of Google searches led me to it but I landed on a page about the Falls of Clyde; one of its waterfalls is apparently so grand that it inspired JMW Turner to sketch it and got a mention in one of Wordsworth’s poems. When I discovered it’s only around an hour’s drive from our home it went straight onto my “let’s go there soon” list, and in this case “soon” was last Sunday, when the Autumn colors were at their height.

I instantly knew the visit was going to be a hit when I released Beanie and Biggles from their travel crates; Beanie dived straight onto the passenger seat and stuck her nose against the biggest air vent, while Biggles excitedly stood tall on his back legs to peer out of the side window. There was a bit of frustrated whining and woofing when I took too long to get my walking boots on, and the two of them almost exploded out of the van as we set off on our walk. We hadn’t gone far before I witnessed a memorable sight, and it had nothing to do with foliage or waterfalls: Beanie and Biggles found a large deposit of fox poo and immediately set about rolling in it. I was too slow in unpacking my camera to capture the scene, so you’ll just have to take my word that it was an almost balletic performance. Slowly and deliberately they lowered their heads and rolled their shoulders onto the ground in almost perfect sync, ending up wriggling back to back like two curly hound-colored pieces of scampi in a basket of leaves, smothered in a dressing of finest quality fox shit. It was a great start to the walk for the pups, and there was just enough breeze to keep the pong to an acceptable level.

For the most part the weather was overcast – though there were occasional periods of blue sky and sun – but with all that glorious color around us it felt like a bright day throughout. The path we were on mostly kept us above and away from the water, but at one point I spotted an unofficial trail  leading down a bank and onto a rocky ledge right by a couple of smaller waterfalls. The going appeared wet and probably a bit slippy, but there were no big drops to worry about. I looked down at Beanie and Biggles as I weighed up the the pros and cons of giving it a try; Beanie looked right back at me and her face was saying “Let’s do it Dad!”. Generally when Beanie thinks a bit of off-road exploring is a good idea it turns out that it really isn’t, and oddly enough that turned out to be the case this time as well.

The initially grassy bits were fine, but once we got onto the wet rock my boots gave me almost no grip. A couple of times my feet slipped out from under me but using my arms I managed a controlled fall/slide and somehow the three of us made onto the target ledge. The view from here wasn’t as good as I’d thought it would be but I took a couple of shots anyway, and packed up ready to return to the official path.

This was when the real fun started. As I now discovered, you can do a controlled slide to get down a slippy decline, but the same trick doesn’t work in reverse. I only had to clamber up onto a small ledge to access a relatively easy flat section, but my feet just couldn’t get any grip; the eight Beagle feet next to me weren’t doing any better. I lifted Beanie & Biggles onto the ledge to take them out of the equation, figuring that I’d somehow manage to get up there myself if I went on all fours. I was wrong; that surface couldn’t have been any more slippy if it had been carved from ice and sprayed with silicone lubricant. I soon found myself sliding backwards on my knees and elbows, losing all the hard-won progress I’d made up to that point. Before I came to a stop, the leads in my hand tightened and suddenly Beanie and Biggles went skating past me. They seemed unconcerned by the experience and happily we all stopped well short of the final drop into the water, but anybody watching our performance would have had a few chuckles. I struggled back to my feet and did the one thing that experience has taught me is always a bad idea: I deliberately walked on all the green, mossy bits I could find. Wet moss-covered rock is slippy as hell, but on this occasion it was still less slippy than the bare rock. It took ages but we eventually made it back to the path, and I continued the rest of the walk with big wet patches on my knees and bum. That’s what listening to Beanie gets you!

The Beanster is now 11 years old, and she’s come a long way in those 11 years.

Fresh out of the oven in 2007

Snoozing with all her brothers and sisters (the bottom closest to the dumbbell is hers)

Drunk on play at 1 year old

Dealing with a Suspicious Chicken on her Seventh Birthday (amazingly that toy is still with us today – them chickens are tough!)

Getting wascally with a wabbit on her 11th Birthday

Without even bothering to boot up my computer and check the weather, I started her birthday celebrations with a run on the beach. Had I seen the weather report I’d have known that storm “Callum” was paying a visit to Scotland; as it was I just drove to the beach as normal, merely noting as I got the pups harnessed and ready to go that it was really quite windy. It’s often the case that a UK storm which gets a name and national coverage presents only as slightly rougher day than normal here in Ayrshire, while something that gets no special attention from the Met Office ends up wrecking fences, uprooting trees and tearing off roof tiles. In this case the wind was just strong enough to make running difficult – killing momentum every time both my feet were off the ground – but the pups absolutely loved it! As I’m not a Beagle myself I can only guess at the smorgasbord of power sniffs that were being delivered to their little black noses, but even I could see the attraction of sprinting after all the little birds that had landed on the sand. Presumably those birds had found the conditions too rough for flight, but once they had a pair of screaming Beagles closing in on them they took off anyway. At one point when Beanie came sprinting back to me a for a chicken top-up, her face was hidden under sand and sea foam; only her peep-holes were uncovered with two bright, excited little eyes shining out from them. If Beanie could describe her ideal beach session I’m guessing this would have come pretty close to it, and that it should have happened on her Birthday was particularly sweet.

Once back home breakfast was followed by a serving of toys. Lately Beanie’s preference has been for long, floppy things that she can shake and tug, and I had high hopes for a two foot long stuffing-free rabbit I’d found on Amazon. The moment Beanie tore off the wrapping paper I knew I’d chosen well.

This particular wascally wabbit has a single heavy squeaker in its head which makes it ideal for shaking, and the stitching and material seems just about tough enough to stand up to a few months of tug games. Uncharacteristically for him Biggles killed a few toys recently, so Susan picked out a floppy blue bear as his unbirthday pressie. Initially Biggles seemed more interested in Beanie’s toy than his own but in the days since that blue bear has been spotted in a number of Biggles’ favorite haunts, and he’s been honing his ungainly pouncing skills on it whenever he’s felt that he isn’t being watched.

No birthday can go by without a cake and the pups got to watch the creation of the latest one from behind the kitchen baby gate. It was immediately obvious as the cake emerged from the cooker that it smelled good – really good – but the news that it was too hot to eat immediately was not well received.

When something smelly is happening in the kitchen it’s a Beagle’s duty to investigate

While Beanie licked out the mixing bowl, Biggles performed a thorough cleansing of the cake-making utensils

The sense of anticipation was palpable

Then came the unwelcome news that serving would be delayed until the cake had cooled sufficiently

While waiting for her cake, Beanie passed the time by playing with her rabbit and humping legs. She tried mine a couple of times but when I proved unwilling she targeted Susan who was having a nap on the sofa. I couldn’t tell you how many times Beanie has humped Susan’s legs; it’s a very regular occurrence and the count must be in the thousands, but there was a brief hiatus a few days ago when a hump attempt went very, very wrong. Susan had curled up on the sofa and covered herself with a dog blanket, and as often happens Biggles had snook in with her for a cuddle. All this was normal, except that rather than snuggling up to Susan’s tummy or bottom, Biggles had on this occasion stretched out alongside her legs. In due course Beanie spotted the humping opportunity and mounted what she thought was a leg, only to discover that it was in fact Biggles’ blanket-covered head. As a mere observer I found it very difficult to tell who was more shaken by the experience: Beanie, who aborted the hump immediately and ran off to my chair, placing her paws on my arm for reassurance, or Biggles, who hurriedly shook off his cover and appeared dazed and shocked for several minutes afterwards.

Happily the birthday leg humping session went without any drama, and was impressively vigorous given all the earlier sprinting on the beach. Not long after it had concluded the cake was ready to serve.

Every Beagle birthday cake should be served on a Beagle napkin

The cake grab was so rapid that I couldn’t get a shot of it, but you can at least see a big bulge at the side of Beanie’s mouth

Three seconds and one brief choking incident later, and all that’s left is a few stray cake molecules on the napkin, but Beanie soon took care of them. Elsewhere in the room, Biggles decided that a more efficient way to get all the crumbs was simply to eat the whole napkin. 

The next day on our regular walk another dog owner misidentified my two as puppies, probably because Beanie is still so animated when she meets someone. I love it when that happens; some people even think that Beanie is the pup and Biggles is her mum! No doubt the day will come when it stops happening, but regardless they’ll always be pups to me.

Happy 11th Birthday Beanie!