Biggles’ Sixth Birthday!

What bounces like a soggy tennis ball, smells like a fish and looks like a poo gone wrong? Answer: the “cake” I made for Biggles’ sixth birthday.


I’ve always been a crap cook, but it seems I’m even worse at baking. I don’t even know where I went wrong. I had two world-leading experts in bakery consumption check my preparations at every stage, and they gave their seal of approval every time. In fact they would have been quite happy to have the cake even before I flung it in the microwave and nuked it (and isn’t that how all the best baking is done?)


Sardines, an egg and some flour. How hard can this baking thing be?


Please can I have it now Dad? Please?


Let me have a quick taste Dad. Just one small lick, I promise.

In fact when we had the ritual bowl lick-out while the microwave was running, I had a bit of a struggle preventing the Birthday Boy from running off with it into the garden. And yet, despite all these promising signs, the actual cake ended up looking like a sickly Labrador poo with a cowpat stuck on top. Fortunately that’s exactly the kind of thing Beanie & Biggles love to eat, so it went down rather well.



Another thing that went down well was Biggles’ birthday present. Meet Ally, a two-and-a-half foot long cuddly alligator with an incredible 16 squeakers and – just like a real alligator – a rattler in his head.



Ally is quickly unwrapped..


And after a tentative first examination, play begins!




Is Biggles actually trying to impersonate his new toy?


He must be, because that’s definitely the “death roll” he’s doing there.

So it looks like Ally’s a big hit with my boy, good enough to rival the squeaky monkey he got for his last birthday. The same unfortunately cannot be said for Beanie’s “unbirthday” present. If you’ve seen those crinkly, squeaky “Noah” owl toys in your local supermarket and wondered just how tough they are, wonder no more.


Beanie means business – this owl is in for a testing time


Two minutes into play. Already there’s a rip and the white stuff is being extracted..


Looks like nurse Beanie has lost another patient. But at least she’s harvesting the viable organs for a possible transplant.


That’s the squeaker accounted for; now it’s time to deal with the crinkly stuff – just like the crisp packets that Beanie likes tearing up!


Almost done..


The owl’s toast and Beanie’s just getting warmed up! Never mind Beanie, you can always have another slice of my poo cake


8 Replies to “Biggles’ Sixth Birthday!”

  1. Susan in DE

    Happy Birthday, Biggles!! And good job on harvesting those owl organs, Beanie!

    Now Paul, you’ve just added to the million dollar idea I had the other day … I was going to quit my job and build a smelt hatchery in my back garden, to supply a new retail chain called “Just Smelts” (“Got any haddock?” “Nope, just smelts.”). With your permission, we could offer Biggles’ birthday cake to customers and just use smelts instead of sardines. You’ll get a cut, we’ll be rich!! (And no, I haven’t been tippling … it’s just been one of those weeks! ;D )

  2. Paul Post author

    @Susan: If you could sell a cake that looks like two poos sandwiched together, I reckon you could sell anything! :D

  3. Sue in Texas

    Paul, I have to say that when I saw that cake I thought it was exactly as you described it. Cow pattie stuck on something.

    Wish my kids were still young enough that they want to play with toys. They grow up so quickly.

    I love how you include the beasts in everything that you do. You are a great Beagle Dad!!

  4. Julie, JB & Cassie's Mum

    Happy Birthday gorgeous Biggles!! I’m sure the cake went down very well; in our house it doesn’t matter what it looks like, ALL food is consumed with great gusto within seconds! Love the picture of Beanie with her hands together – looks like she’s praying the cake will be ready soon!!

  5. Paul Post author

    @Sue: Yep, “Poo Cake” is a good name for it!

    @Julie: They had the last of it this morning. I simply could not make them “leave” it – the second it came within reach they nicked it out of their bowls. So it must taste nice, whatever it looks like!

  6. Kaye - Bode's mum

    Paul, every time I see your posts, I am sure you can’t get better pictures of the kids. I can’t believe the picture of the Beanster begging – so adorable! Happy birthday, Biggles. I’m sending you a virtual pussycat to chase in your dreams.

  7. Paul Post author

    Thanks Kaye!

    Biggles says “Grrr grrrr GRRRRR whup whup” in his dreams :) (Got the bracket the wrong way round first time – not enough coffee in my system!)

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