Some days Her Royal Highness The Beanster has no trouble jumping onto the sofas in our living room, but there are also times when a sofa jump goes disastrously wrong, leaving her half on, half off, with her little back legs desperately trying to get purchase in the air. It’s a distinctly unregal position, and one that requires  a solution. Unfortunately Princess Beanie is very picky about the surfaces she’s prepared to walk on. We bought a small, sturdy metal step with folding legs, but Beanie just couldn’t bring herself to trust it, in fact she would go out of her way to avoid it which actually led her to have more embarrassing sofa mishaps. We started looking at folding ramps – the kind that are common on eBay and Amazon – and despite some misgivings about their rigidity I twice tried to buy one, but each time the purchase fell through (all too common in these days of high inflation, with sellers regularly refunding items when they realise they could be charging more). It turns out those failed purchases were fortunate, because eventually Susan found this – a padded step and ramp set for children.

Beanie immediately took to them both, but the step was the perfect height for the sofa. The first time she used it she looked right at me and wagged furiously, obviously happy to be able to get up any time under her own steam. It felt great to give her back a bit of independence and stop the indignity of getting beached on the furniture in her own home.

While the step restored 24/7 sofa access for Beanie, Poppy made a virtual no-go zone by de positing a spectacular barf by our rear kitchen door. When I heard her rhythmic stomach pump starting up I hurried her through the door in the hope that she’d do her technicolor yawn on the grass, but Poppy’s never been one to walk any distance when there’s chunks to be blown. Nope, she just opened her mouth and let rip right there on the deck. It was, at least, outside the house, and the sheer quantity was impressive for a such a small Beaglet. I washed most of it away with a a few jugs of water and a squirt of washing up liquid, and figured that was the end of it. How wrong I was. For the next four days only Beanie was prepared to walk straight through the barf zone; everyone else needed verbal encouragement and even a toe up the bum to get across it. It was as though each little bit of spew residue was a miniature Gandalf proclaiming “Thou shalt not pass!”. This quickly became a source of irritation; handling the endless rounds of pee requests on an evening is bad enough, but now each outgoing and return loo trip involved the vomit avoidance ritual. It was particularly galling that Poppy was so keen to avoid stepping on it given that she had been its creator. I washed the area again but it made no difference – only tine eventually robbed the Gandalf-vomit of its remarkable power.

A few more recent moments:

A visit to the old pier at Portencross. That big hole is not really something you want to encounter when you’re holding on to four pulling Beagles, but happily no-one got an unscheduled swimming session that day.

The geese at Dean Castle Park are approaching! Notice how not a single one of our fearless Beagles is prepared to look them in the eye.

You just can’t beat frosty sniffs

But there are clear signs that Spring is on its way

The youngsters assist in clearing up last year’s dead growth. Unfortunately they’d be just as keen to assist in clearing up this year’s fresh growth too.

Poppy celebrates the final departure of her unnatural barf